Psychology Today Blog

Narcissists do not forgive or forget! Narcissistic injury is often widely misunderstood. Many people believe it relates to the trauma experienced by the victims of narcissists. But instead, it is what is experienced by the narcissist when they lose or are abandoned or criticized. According to the

Does parenting style influence how we vote? How we view the treatment of children may be connected to our choices in political candidates. I certainly do not claim to be a political analyst and I am not making a political statement, but there is some interesting research

Are you searching for love? Are you in a love relationship, but wonder if it is healthy? I can’t keep track anymore of the countless online dating sites ranging from “people who love dogs” to “clown dating,” to “smell dating,” (seriously?), and the various Match, Seniors, and

Are you baffled by narcissists who act mean? Do you have narcissists in your life who are just plain mean? Do you ask yourself, “how can someone be so mean?” Do you wonder sometimes how they even come up with their aggressive and vengeful antics against you?

This will not be your normal break-up…believe me! When Ellen entered her first therapy session with me, she held a card in her hand that she’d printed out from Somecards.com. Without speaking, she handed it to me. It read, “We divorced for religious reasons. My partner thought he was God and

Narcissists raise children who suffer from crippling self-doubt Why does it matter if a parent is a narcissist, how does that hurt a child? You may be asking this question if you are one of the following: a person who is co-parenting with a narcissistic ex, someone

Empathy is the necessary ingredient for giving and feeling love. Having compassion and empathy for another means to hear, be with, suffer with, and try to get in the shoes of the other person. When this is done, the other person feels seen, heard, and loved. Sadly,

8 tips for dealing with criticism from narcissistic families One of the painful trademarks of the narcissistic family is constant criticism and judgment. In their presence, one can feel insecure, put down, and typically not valued as a person. When around narcissists, if you really listen to

The lifelong effects of childhood neglect If you were emotionally or physically neglected as a child, it can be a difficult journey to heal. Neglect can be a hard thing to put your finger on, especially if it was emotional. Neglected children often don’t realize they are

10 Tips to help with emotional triggers and avoid an emotional collapse! In the United States and around the world, Mother’s Day, is certainly one of the most celebrated holidays. It should be a special day to honor mothers and appreciate them for all that they do

Eight tips to protect yourself. Do you have a narcissist in your life? Most everyone knows one or has been involved with one. They may be in your family, work, or social circle. The narcissist may be tolerable or even charming with you until they decide to

How to protect yourself from getting duped by a narcissist What is it about narcissistic behavior that leaves people scratching their heads and wondering what just happened?! A narcissist can derail someone in minutes due to their own issues. It can come out of the blue. To

What is it? How does it affect Leadership and Relationship? Narcissists suffer from what the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines as narcissistic injury: “vulnerability in self-esteem which makes narcissistic people very sensitive to ‘injury’ from criticism or defeat. Although they may not show it

Adult children of narcissistic parents in search of peace Mother’s Day in the United States is rapidly approaching. It’s the time of year that my inbox is flooded with questions. What to do? What card to buy? Contact or not? Adult children of narcissistic parents begin reaching

Why Values Are Important in Raising Emotionally Healthy Children I was honored to be asked to give a speech at a National Junior Honor Society awards ceremony for fourth through eighth graders, along with their parents and teachers. My granddaughter, the president, gave me the invite. Ok…touch

Cherish your own capacity to love and provide empathy! Mother’s Day is approaching. Is it time to run and hide or stumble into a Hallmark store to desperately search for that empty card that says nothing upon which you simply sign your name? How sad, awful, taboo,

An expert’s checklist for gauging where you stand. The label narcissist is used loosely these days, typically to indicate someone who is vain and selfish, but the personality disorder and the traits of narcissism run much deeper than this and carry long-term debilitating effects for those involved

Are you carrying the emotional burden of a dysfunctional family? Are you constantly beating yourself up and thinking that somehow you should be more, do more, be better, and you don’t measure up in your own mind? After more than three decades of working as a therapist

What did you learn about love in childhood? With Valentine’s Day approaching, the topic of love is hot stuff. Will you be my Valentine? Will we love ’til death do us part? Is unconditional love even possible in romantic relationships? Did I learn how to love in my childhood? Adult

The holidays are not a magical wand to transform families. Holiday expectations can get us in trouble during the holiday season. Why is it that we somehow still hang onto the vision that we can suddenly transform the family into what we want during the holidays and

If you had a narcissistic mother, did your father protect you? The family with a narcissistic mother operates according to an unspoken set of rules. Children learn to live with those rules, but they never stop being confused and pained by them, for these rules block children’s