Why are Mean People So Powerful?

Are you baffled by narcissists who act mean? Do you have narcissists in your life who are just plain mean? Do you ask yourself, “how can someone be so mean?” Do you wonder sometimes how they even come up with their aggressive and vengeful antics against you?

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Lack of Accountability in Narcissists

Narcissists lie and re-write history, but why? One of the most crucial characteristics of a morally centered, responsible, and mentally healthy individual is the ability to be accountable for one’s actions and feelings. This is how we grow and learn from our mistakes as well as live

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Divorcing a Narcissist

This will not be your normal break-up…believe me! When Ellen entered her first therapy session with me, she held a card in her hand that she’d printed out from Somecards.com. Without speaking, she handed it to me. It read, “We divorced for religious reasons. My partner thought he was God and

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Will I Be Good Enough for the Holidays?

8 tips for dealing with criticism from narcissistic families One of the painful trademarks of the narcissistic family is constant criticism and judgment. In their presence, one can feel insecure, put down, and typically not valued as a person. When around narcissists, if you really listen to

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How Does A Narcissist Think?

Here is how narcissistic behavior is dangerous and harmful to others Is the word narcissism being over-used and thrown around lightly? Do we need a deeper understanding of narcissistic behavior and why it is harmful and even dangerous? Having studied this disorder for over 25 years, and

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Narcissists Derail People

How to protect yourself from getting duped by a narcissist What is it about narcissistic behavior that leaves people scratching their heads and wondering what just happened?! A narcissist can derail someone in minutes due to their own issues. It can come out of the blue. To

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The Destructive Force of Narcissistic Injury

What is it? How does it affect Leadership and Relationship? Narcissists suffer from what the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines as narcissistic injury: “vulnerability in self-esteem which makes narcissistic people very sensitive to ‘injury’ from criticism or defeat. Although they may not show it

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Embrace Recovery on Mother’s Day

Adult children of narcissistic parents in search of peace Mother’s Day in the United States is rapidly approaching. It’s the time of year that my inbox is flooded with questions. What to do? What card to buy? Contact or not? Adult children of narcissistic parents begin reaching

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Five Qualities to Encourage in Your Kids

Why Values Are Important in Raising Emotionally Healthy Children I was honored to be asked to give a speech at a National Junior Honor Society awards ceremony for fourth through eighth graders, along with their parents and teachers. My granddaughter, the president, gave me the invite. Ok…touch

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Sibling Incest in the News

Treatment options for sibling incest. Having worked in the child sexual abuse field for 30 some years, I am continually struck with a sense of sadness when yet another family comes forward with admissions of sibling sexual abuse. Rather than judgment it is important to be aware

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Do You Feel Not Good Enough?

Are you carrying the emotional burden of a dysfunctional family? Are you constantly beating yourself up and thinking that somehow you should be more, do more, be better, and you don’t measure up in your own mind? After more than three decades of working as a therapist

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Post-Romantic Stress

What did you learn about love in childhood? With Valentine’s Day approaching, the topic of love is hot stuff. Will you be my Valentine? Will we love ’til death do us part? Is unconditional love even possible in romantic relationships? Did I learn how to love in my childhood? Adult

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Where was Daddy?

Where was Daddy?

If you had a narcissistic mother, did your father protect you? The family with a narcissistic mother operates according to an unspoken set of rules. Children learn to live with those rules, but they never stop being confused and pained by them, for these rules block children’s

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Do You Attract Narcissists as Friends?

Do you attract narcissistic friends?

How can I tell if my friend is a narcissist? I recently got an email from a lovely woman saying she feels she repeats the dynamic she had with her narcissistic mother in her choice of friends. She says she befriends narcissistic women, who then, like her

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Mothers Who Are Jealous of Their Daughters

Mothers Who Are Jealous of Their Daughters

A mother’s jealousy distorts a daughter’s normal development When I was writing the book Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, I found that I heard certain kinds of painful stories over and over again, like themes in a piece of music.

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Narcissists Are Not Accountable

Narcissists Are Not Accountable

Who me? I didn’t do it! Lack of accountability is a pet peeve for sure, and also a common problem with narcissists. Although there are many disturbing factors in the personality of a narcissist, this one is tough to deal with in any relationship. It’s hard to

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Plant Both Feet In Relationships!

Plant Both Feet In Relationships!

Do you struggle with trust or commitment in a relationship? Sound familiar? The concept of repetition compulsion comes from psychoanalytic theory. It means repeating patterns in relationships that are similar to unconscious aspects of a childhood relationship or experience. But one would ask, why do that? I frequently

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When Mothers Day Hurts

When Mothers Day Hurts

Cultural expectations about Mothers Day and motherhood can open up wounds. Nobody wants to be a “Debbie Downer” on Mothers Day. Its a blessed and sacred institution and should be. Truly, what is more amazing than giving birth to gorgeous little ones and watching them grow, develop and become.

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Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

Are you in relationship with a narcissist?

Are you in relationship with a narcissist? Adult children of narcissistic parents commonly grow up with this nagging feeling that they flunked childhood and it’s all their fault. They internalize the message they are not good enough no matter how hard they try.  While everyone has times

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