Narcissists raise children who suffer from crippling self-doubt Why does it matter if a parent is a narcissist, how does that hurt a child? You may be asking this question if you are one of the following: a person who is co-parenting with a narcissistic ex, someone
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Empathy is the necessary ingredient for giving and feeling love. Having compassion and empathy for another means to hear, be with, suffer with, and try to get in the shoes of the other person. When this is done, the other person feels seen, heard, and loved. Sadly,
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Finding balance in disclosing sexual abuse While I am most certainly an advocate for sexual assault victims, and have specialized in this field of mental health work for 30 plus years, I feel compelled to share what many of my clients and colleagues have revealed to me
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8 tips for dealing with criticism from narcissistic families One of the painful trademarks of the narcissistic family is constant criticism and judgment. In their presence, one can feel insecure, put down, and typically not valued as a person. When around narcissists, if you really listen to
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The lifelong effects of childhood neglect If you were emotionally or physically neglected as a child, it can be a difficult journey to heal. Neglect can be a hard thing to put your finger on, especially if it was emotional. Neglected children often don’t realize they are
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Here is how narcissistic behavior is dangerous and harmful to others Is the word narcissism being over-used and thrown around lightly? Do we need a deeper understanding of narcissistic behavior and why it is harmful and even dangerous? Having studied this disorder for over 25 years, and
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10 Tips to help with emotional triggers and avoid an emotional collapse! In the United States and around the world, Mother’s Day, is certainly one of the most celebrated holidays. It should be a special day to honor mothers and appreciate them for all that they do
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Five Tips for Keeping Your Sanity in the Season and the New Year How’s your holiday season going? Ready for the New Year? Are you feeling happy and content and ready to move forward? Or are you struggling this week and feeling like the holidays were less
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Eight tips to protect yourself. Do you have a narcissist in your life? Most everyone knows one or has been involved with one. They may be in your family, work, or social circle. The narcissist may be tolerable or even charming with you until they decide to
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How to protect yourself from getting duped by a narcissist What is it about narcissistic behavior that leaves people scratching their heads and wondering what just happened?! A narcissist can derail someone in minutes due to their own issues. It can come out of the blue. To
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What is it? How does it affect Leadership and Relationship? Narcissists suffer from what the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines as narcissistic injury: “vulnerability in self-esteem which makes narcissistic people very sensitive to ‘injury’ from criticism or defeat. Although they may not show it
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Adult children of narcissistic parents in search of peace Mother’s Day in the United States is rapidly approaching. It’s the time of year that my inbox is flooded with questions. What to do? What card to buy? Contact or not? Adult children of narcissistic parents begin reaching
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Why Values Are Important in Raising Emotionally Healthy Children I was honored to be asked to give a speech at a National Junior Honor Society awards ceremony for fourth through eighth graders, along with their parents and teachers. My granddaughter, the president, gave me the invite. Ok…touch
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What is the real problem with having a narcissist in your life? Is there someone you know who is extremely boastful, self-absorbed, and is found frequently taking selfies or engaging in self-admiration? If so, do you really care? This seems to be the common understanding of narcissism
Read more →Treatment options for sibling incest. Having worked in the child sexual abuse field for 30 some years, I am continually struck with a sense of sadness when yet another family comes forward with admissions of sibling sexual abuse. Rather than judgment it is important to be aware
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Cherish your own capacity to love and provide empathy! Mother’s Day is approaching. Is it time to run and hide or stumble into a Hallmark store to desperately search for that empty card that says nothing upon which you simply sign your name? How sad, awful, taboo,
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An expert’s checklist for gauging where you stand. The label narcissist is used loosely these days, typically to indicate someone who is vain and selfish, but the personality disorder and the traits of narcissism run much deeper than this and carry long-term debilitating effects for those involved
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Are you carrying the emotional burden of a dysfunctional family? Are you constantly beating yourself up and thinking that somehow you should be more, do more, be better, and you don’t measure up in your own mind? After more than three decades of working as a therapist
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What did you learn about love in childhood? With Valentine’s Day approaching, the topic of love is hot stuff. Will you be my Valentine? Will we love ’til death do us part? Is unconditional love even possible in romantic relationships? Did I learn how to love in my childhood? Adult
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The holidays are not a magical wand to transform families. Holiday expectations can get us in trouble during the holiday season. Why is it that we somehow still hang onto the vision that we can suddenly transform the family into what we want during the holidays and
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If you had a narcissistic mother, did your father protect you? The family with a narcissistic mother operates according to an unspoken set of rules. Children learn to live with those rules, but they never stop being confused and pained by them, for these rules block children’s
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How can I tell if my friend is a narcissist? I recently got an email from a lovely woman saying she feels she repeats the dynamic she had with her narcissistic mother in her choice of friends. She says she befriends narcissistic women, who then, like her
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A mother’s jealousy distorts a daughter’s normal development When I was writing the book Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, I found that I heard certain kinds of painful stories over and over again, like themes in a piece of music.
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Who me? I didn’t do it! Lack of accountability is a pet peeve for sure, and also a common problem with narcissists. Although there are many disturbing factors in the personality of a narcissist, this one is tough to deal with in any relationship. It’s hard to
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Do you struggle with trust or commitment in a relationship? Sound familiar? The concept of repetition compulsion comes from psychoanalytic theory. It means repeating patterns in relationships that are similar to unconscious aspects of a childhood relationship or experience. But one would ask, why do that? I frequently
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Cultural expectations about Mothers Day and motherhood can open up wounds. Nobody wants to be a “Debbie Downer” on Mothers Day. Its a blessed and sacred institution and should be. Truly, what is more amazing than giving birth to gorgeous little ones and watching them grow, develop and become.
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Am I a narcissistic parent? Am I passing narcissism on to my children? What is the cornerstone of maternal or paternal narcissism? Do you worry you might be a narcissistic parent? Most of us with children hold the value that we would never consciously do anything to harm
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Are you in relationship with a narcissist? Adult children of narcissistic parents commonly grow up with this nagging feeling that they flunked childhood and it’s all their fault. They internalize the message they are not good enough no matter how hard they try. While everyone has times
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