Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing The Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
Press release from Atria Books, a division of Simon & Schuster
From birth through adulthood, the mother-daughter relationship affects the daughter’s emotional development, with the mother serving as her daughter’s primary role model for developing as an individual, lover, wife, mother, and friend. Daughters of narcissistic mothers, however, learn at a very young age that their mother’s love is not unconditional, and the fallout from this painful legacy of distorted love is particularly insidious.
The American Psychiatric Association estimates that there are 1.5 million American women with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In a society that is captivated by social networking sites, celebrity culture, and standing out in the crowd, these numbers do not seem so farfetched. In Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers (Free Press; September 8, 2009; $15.00; paperback,) Dr. Karyl McBride – herself a recovering daughter, and a therapist who has devoted almost twenty years to research on narcissistic parents and their effects on children – pulls back the curtain on maternal narcissism, tackling the challenges facing daughters of narcissistic mothers, and claims that this destructive pattern can be overcome.
"Reflect on your pain, and then relish in your hope: That is the message I took away from Dr. Karyl McBride’s Will I Ever Be Good Enough?”
- Farrah M. Hughes, PhD., for The Family Psychologist Bulletin of the Society for Family Psychology, division (43), The American Psychological Association
In this pioneering work, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Dr. McBride lays out the characteristics and dynamics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the common symptoms facing daughters of narcissistic mothers, such as over-sensitivity, indecisiveness, self-consciousness, inability to succeed in relationships, lack of self-confidence regardless of their accomplishments, and a general sense of insecurity, and offers tools for readers to use to determine if this disorder indeed affects their families. Dr. McBride then highlights how the dynamics of maternal narcissism directly affects daughters’ lives and ultimately provides an easy-to-understand and effective road map for recovery.
"Dr. McBride presents specific steps toward recovery that daughters of any age can use as they grieve for the love and support they didn't receive. [McBride] provides parenting tips as well as advice for maintaining healthy love relationships and friendships. An excellent bibliography rounds out this revealing book, which ends on a hopeful and pragmatic note."
- Publishers Weekly, Starred Review for Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
For daughters of narcissistic mothers, the issue is more complex than just “dealing with mom.” Daughters need to know how to read her – when to limit contact and how to set boundaries. These issues not only have ramifications on mother-daughter relationships but can have lasting impact on how these daughters parent their own children.
Daughters always fear passing on the distorted legacy of love, and they want to avoid raising a narcissistic child. These fears also filter themselves into other aspects – in their love relationships, career choices, and everyday thoughts and feelings. In Will I Ever Be Good Enough? examples of such instances are highlighted as Dr. McBride recounts her own experiences and tells similarly shocking stories and affecting anecdotes from the hundreds of women she has interviewed and treated over the years.
A book that is long overdue,Will I Ever Be Good Enough? gives a voice to the millions of daughters suffering from the abuse of their self-involved, destructive, narcissistic mothers, and provides them with the much-needed tools to overcome the devastating effects of this disorder so they can lead happy, healthy, fulfilled adult lives.
Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist, and Heal Your Family
Press release from Atria Books, a division of Simon & Schuster
“Narcissists are grandiose in their need for praise and attention. While they often overestimate their own abilities, they diminish the people around them, particularly the ones they claim to love. Being in an intimate relationship with a narcissist can be exhilarating and all-consuming, but often, in the end, the narcissist consumes you, your hopes and dreams, your peace of mind, and your money.”
- From Will I Ever be Free of You?
From leading popular psychologist Dr. Karyl McBride, author of the national bestseller Will I Ever Be Good Enough,Will I Ever be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist, and Heal Your Family (Atria Books; ISBN: 9781476755694; $25.00; On Sale February 10, 2015) is a revolutionary guide to successfully managing a divorce from a narcissist, and surviving its aftermath. With nearly three decades experience as a therapist to divorcing partners and children of divorce, McBride has created a step-by-step program for healing the precise type of emotional damage that narcissism causes, while offering the tools to protect and nurture family through the divorce and afterward.
How does anyone know when he or she is in a relationship with a narcissist?
There are conflicting ideas about the classification and prevalence of narcissism in America. While the American Psychiatric Association estimates the disorder manifests in less than 1 percent of the population, researchers state that nearly 1 out of 16 Americans has narcissistic tendencies. Dr. McBride believes the answer lands somewhere in the middle and explains that narcissism is a spectrum disorder, and can range from a few traits to a full case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.Will I Ever be Free of You? provides checklists of traits and symptoms, allowing readers to gauge precisely where on that spectrum their partner (or ex-partner) lies.
Drawing from clinical research, McBride gives readers remedial advice on how to identify their narcissistic partners and break free of them. With real-life stories of men and women who have been in this situation, she helps readers decide when to stay and utilize treatments such as couple’s therapy and when to leave for good.
Will I Ever be Free of You? outlines a five-step long-term recovery model:
- Acceptance and Grief
- Psychological Separation
- Becoming Your Authentic Self
- Dealing With Your Ex in Recovery
- Ending the Legacy of Distorted Love
The book also addresses: religious barriers, physically abusive relationships, emotionally abusive partners, and divorce with children.
Will I Ever be Free of You? explains that the court system does not recognize the complexities of a narcissistic divorce – most law professionals assume that any high-conflict case is the fault of both parties. McBride informs readers of the challenges they will face and, with compassionate anecdotes, explains how other people handled similar problems.
McBride touches on:
- Custody and visitation battles: Narcissists commonly manipulate the system and disrupt court-appointed parenting plans
- Court evaluations: It is important evaluators understand the dynamics of the disorder and are not seduced by the narcissist
- How to hire the right attorney and therapists
- How to heal, after all is said and done
Will I Ever be Free of You? is an interactive guide for men and women, and the professionals that work with them. Offering practical suggestions and a roadmap of trauma recovery for the whole family, McBride helps victims of damaging relationships with narcissistic partners to heal and go on to live successful, happy lives – free from the narcissist.
Karyl McBride, Ph.D. is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over thirty years of experience in public and private practice, specializing in treatment of trauma. She is a leading authority on narcissism and a contributing blogger for Psychology Today.
“This book should be required reading for anyone divorcing in these circumstances, and for professionals who will benefit from the information and recommendations about a highly specialized area. The abundance of real life examples will be relatable to the reader and will provide a much needed resource that understands their situation. And equally important, a plan to help.” - Allison Brittsan, MA, LPC
“Will I Ever Be Free of You is a rare achievement. It is insightful, thought-provoking, and powerful guide for dealing with divorce and narcissists. A smart book with an optimistic message from an author who knows how to heal.” - Steven Babitsky Esq. SEAK, Inc.
All rights inquiries should be directed to Dr. McBride’s agent:
Susan Schulman Literary Agency LLC
454 West 44th Street, New York, NY 10036 USA
T: (212) 713-1633 F: (212) 581-8830